Here Goes Nothing

Gracious, I know what you have to be thinking, Another girl, another blog, just some more ranting and raving about men, diets, and a lot of complaining. Well I am here to tell you that you are... probably right but hopefully someone out there will get some kind of knowledge from my crazy sometimes stupid decisions and life lessons.

Lets begin with me. That's kind of an intimidating first line because I am as complicated as they come. I grew up in Baton Rouge, Louisiana and was always the very outspoken little girl growing up. I remember starting my first day of third grade (my first day ever at a public school), I got on that big yellow school bus, saw a girl that was sitting by herself, and skipped right up to her. What do I do, not just ask if I can sit down, no just took a seat with a big grin on my face and said in my tone deaf loud cheery voice, "Hi, my name is Danielle, will you be my friend?" So, you get the gist of the kind of personality I have. I never met a stranger and I could make friends with the wall if it would talk back. Well that's enough of that! I'm sure my personality will shine through just fine in these things.

I am blogging because I feel like I have a lot of knowledge on life and come across a lot of quotes, life lessons, songs, etc. that help me through this crazy adventure of mine. I am christian but I do not believe my beliefs are the only right ones; therefore, please no one take offense if I make a comments about them. I am not and will not be preaching I will just be sharing what I found got me through those particular moments. Well here goes nothing!

Well we all know what all women talk about first: MEN. How doggish they are, how we are better than they are, blah blah blah. I, however, love men... Well sometimes ha! In this past year I have learned a lot about those beings that we can't seem to live without. I have never had a boyfriend but I have been on my share of dates, set-ups, heartbreaks, etc. I think Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love) describes it best and explains how I am when I come into contact with a man that I like/love. FYI: I am currently reading this book; therefore, I will be quoting a lot from it. Anyway when I read this the other day I was in awe at how this is pretty much a summary of my "love life":

“Moreover, I have boundary issues with men. Or maybe that’s not fair to say. To have issues with boundaries, one must have boundaries in the first place, right? But I disappear into

the person I love. I am the permeable membrane. If I love you, you can have everything. You can have my time, my devotion, my ass, my money, my family, my dog, my dog’s money, my
dog’s time—everything. If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will project upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else. "

It's unfortunately the sad truth about myself. I am sometimes so strong and know exactly who I am. However, I have also been so lonely and have longed for that physical touch/ affection from a man that as soon as one comes along I drop everything. I'll leave work early (even if I am completely and utterly broke!), cancel plans, do anything. I like to compare it to when I find a new article of clothing I really like or a food that makes me make noises while I eat it. I want either the food everyday or I could wear that article of clothing every single day! I really dislike this about myself and I am in the process of working on it! My best friend is probably reading this and being like, "Duh, Danni, when you going to learn that i'm the smart one in this friendship!"

Growing up, I tried to raise myself on morals and values that were good and pure. Kind of like Pollyanna. The chick was a saint even when she fell out of a tree and was paralyzed, vomit worthy, I'm aware! I always wished and prayed for a man that had my same values, worked hard for everything, and according to Mr. Steve, "deserved how good I was going to treat him." Well after this year I had enough of waiting around for that golden man, I wanted to call my husband. I was going to take matters in my own hands, screw fate! haha Not the best idea, but hey I am a girl and that's how I roll!

So I met three men this year that probably have shaped my jaded perspective on dating and relationships. I will not name any names because everyone has broken someone else, hell I still beat myself up for the one I hurt. It's all about building a bridge. I found that physical touch is an amazing thing, and if you close your eyes you can imagine you are with someone completely different. This sounds awful but let me explain. If you are with this guy and yea he is hot as hell but the kicker he is a complete A-hole and only calls you once a week and probably has someone else just like you waiting for his call for their time tomorrow. You just close your eyes and he is this beautiful man that treats you like a queen and is now giving you the most passionate kiss of your life. Now I am not recommending this, in fact I shun you from it! It will not fill that boyfriend spot in your life, that need/want for attention etc. In the end he is and will always be an A-hole who doesn't know when to get off the field or doesn't know what the hell he wants. This goes for women too! Most men are this way because they were burned by a woman, a dumb selfish woman! So thank you to the crazies that ruined it for the rest of us! I highly recommend reading "He's just not that into you" LIFE CHANGING, just saying. I have however met my share of amazing men! Men that I would trust whole-heartedly and what can I say I am a hopeless romantic and there is no way in hell God created all men to be as inhuman as the ones I have encountered this year. I do believe that there are great men out there and like I said I have met a few of them. So cheers to all the men and women who will grow from their lessons and won't fall for the crazy women and the a-hole men!

So these are the things I plan on working on to help me reinstate Danielle into Master and Commander of this ship:

1. Be happy with my life and the things I am given: including being single (hell i'm 23, nowhere near marriage or children, and I have a whole world that needs to be discovered by me!)
2. Lose 20-30 more pounds. (Ugh, hate losing weight, it's the devil, I am convinced)
3. Learn guitar ( had that sucker for 8 years now, should be a prodigy but nope "Its what the french call Lay-zay Compe- tant")
4. Increase vocal range and work on perfect pitch ( That's right Julie Andrews better watch her back)
5. Pay off all debt ( HATEEEEE)
6. Cut out most/all junk food
7. Re-establish relationship with God ( I do not like this path I have chosen this year time to get back on track and get my head back in the game!)
8. Finish school (no comment)
9. Read more (complete my 3 year old book list)

So here goes nothing let the battles, the blogging, and the good choices begin! Have a great night and make good choices yourself! Hugs not drugs! Love your face!